RENAI 恋愛
by Aimii0
Summary: "I have nothing left to lose, nothing to gain, nothing to accomplish, but a lot of regrets."-AU, SasuSaku, NaruSaku, GaaSaku.
1. HATSUKOI: Innocence

**A/N: **This story will be told in three parts called data. Each data will have a different name and two chapters. The first data is names 'Hatsukoi'.

Renai=Love

Hatsukoi=First love

* * *

_**RENAI 恋愛**_

**HATSUKOI**: _Innocence_

_13 years old_

.

"I am glad it cannot happen twice, the fever of first love. For it is a fever, and a burden, too, whatever the poets may say." _-Daphne du Maurier_

* * *

_I did not live a long live, but I certainly experienced more than any person my age could have. I have nothing left to lose, nothing to gain, nothing to accomplish, but a lot of regrets. I made a decision. Some people will pity me, many will probably judge me and, probably, even more will not care. But here's my story and everything that made me take this decision._

* * *

It was my first day as a middle-school student. I was finally able to wear a sailor uniform, it was a dream come true.

"Hi, what class are you in?" Someone asked.

I turned around and saw a beautiful girl. She had bright-blue eyes, blonde, sh0rt hair, pale skin and slim figure.

"Me?" I asked surprised.

"Of course you, do you see anybody else around?" The girl asked giggling. She was so cute and seemed like such a nice person.

"I am in class 1-A." I replied smiling at the unknown girl.

"Really? Me too!" The girl said happily. "My name is Yamanaka Ino, nice to meet you." She lend me her hand.

I certainly didn't expect to make friends so fast and Ino was so cute, it was more than I could have asked for.

I took her hand in my hands and smiled again. "My name is Haruno Sakura, I hope we'll get along well, Ino-chan."

We walked to our class as we told each other things about us.

"Favorite food?" Ino asked.

"Curry." I replied without hesitation.

"No way, mine's curry too!"

"Favorite movie?"

"The Notebook." Ino replied.

"A walk to remember is so much better!" I opposed.

"Oh, I completely forgot about it. But still, The Notebook's so much better." Ino replied. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you come to my place one day and we'll see both movies? The one we'll cry more at will be decided as best. We can have a sleepover."

I couldn't believe. I made a friend on my first day of middle school and she even invited me to her place.

* * *

_When I met Ino, I had no idea she would play such an important role in my life. Only years later I will realize that she was the only friend I have ever cared deeply for._

* * *

"It sounds great! I'll have to ask my parents but I'm sure they'll accept. I'll have to buy new pajamas, mines are so old. And oh, I almost forgot—"

"Easy Sakura-chan, easy." Ino said, making me stop.

I realized I got too excited. I looked away embarrassed. "S-Sorry, I got too carried away."

"It's ok, I'm excited too." She said, making me relax.

We arrived in class. I and Ino sat next to each other at the back of the class, but we only put our bags on the desk.

"Let's talk with the others too." Ino suggested.

I nodded and we approached a girl. She had short, black-blue hair and big, grey eyes. She seemed anxious.

"Hi!" Ino greeted her.

"Hey!" I greeted too.

The girl was surprised to see us, she was almost startled. She quickly sat up and bowed her head to us.

"H-Hello! My name is Hyuuga Hinata, I-I hope we can be friends!" She said fast. "P-Please."

Ino and I looked at each other for a moment.

"Hinata-chan, you don't have to bow to us, we're the same age after all." I told her.

"Sakura-chan's right." Ino said. Hinata raised her head and looked at the two girls. "I'm Yamanaka Ino, nice to meet you."

"And I'm Haruno Sakura."

Hinata smiled brightly, that was the moment I observed how cute Hinata is.

* * *

_I have always believed the day I met Hinata was the most unfortunate for her as well as for me, we have caused a lot of pain to each other._

* * *

Seconds later, our home room teacher, Iruka, came in the class and made everyone present themselves. It was Hinata's turn when the door opened and a blonde boy came in.

"And who might you be?" Iruka-sensei asked.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I'm late, sorry!" He said with a big grin.

The moment he grinned, my heart begun beating faster and I felt heat going up to my cheeks. I didn't know what was going on with me, I panicked.

Moreover, as I was at the end of the class, I was quite close to him. He saw me staring at him and looked at me for a moment. When I looked in his blue eyes, I could see nothing else besides them.

"Iruka-sensei?" I asked raising my hand.

"Since it's the first day, I'll let it go for today Naruto but I hope it won't happen a second time."

"Sure thing." The boy promised.

"Iruka-sensei.." I said again, afraid he didn't hear me at first.

"Oh.." He looked on the paper. "Sakura, something happened?"

"I don't feel very well." I said. Every person in the class was looking at me.

"What's wrong Sakura-chan?" Ino asked me, whispering.

"My heart beats really fast and I can feel my cheeks are red." I told her on the same tone.

She quickly put a hand on my forehead. A second later, her eyes widened in surprise.

"Sensei, can I take her to the infirmary?" Ino asked.

"Of course, do you want me to send someone with you two?"

"No, we will be alright."

She took my hand and we both walked slowly out of the class, but as soon as the door closed behind us, we ran to the other side of the hallway.

"Ino-chan?" I asked confused.

She looked around a bit. "Ok, there's nobody around."

"Ino-chan, we should go to the infirmary, I may have a fever."

Ino started laughing, her melodic voice echoing on the hallways.

"Sakura-chan, you're so naïve." She said. "You're no sick, you're in love."

"Love? But.. With who?" I blinked in surprise.

"Isn't it obvious? The boy who was late, Naruto." When she said his name, I remembered his blue eyes and the moment the world stopped. I was probably blushing as I felt my cheeks getting warm again. "I knew it!" Ino exclaimed. "This is so great Sakura-chan, I'm so happy for you." She said pulling me into a hug.

Ino was so happy that she made me happy too.

* * *

It was two months after school started. I was spending most of time with Ino and Hinata. Hinata had a friend whom she has known since elementary school, Kiba, who was their classmate as well. He became friends with the us pretty soon and he would often join us in the lunch break. He is a really friendly and nice guy.

It was one of those lunch breaks. I, Hinata and Ino were on the courtyard sitting on the grass, eating their lunch. We were talking about the test we had at English when Ino's eyes suddenly widened and she choked on her food.

"Ino-chan, what happened?" I asked as Hinata gave her the bottle of water.

Ino waved her hand rejecting the bottle. "B.. Behind—"

"Hey everyone!" Someone called from behind.

I already recognised the owner of the voice, but I certainly didn't expect to turn around and see him and Uzumaki Naruto approaching us.

* * *

_I still remember the smile he had when he lend me his hand and told me his name. It was the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. I remember the date—6th April._

* * *

I quickly turned around. 'Oh my God, what will I tell him? Maybe my name and then he could tell me his, as if I don't know it already. Wait, maybe he won't even notice me.'

"Girls, he is my friend—"

"Uzumaki Naruto!" He cut Kiba off, presenting himself.

"That was what I was going to say," Kiba replied. "Anyway, can he stay with us?"

"I-I.." I stuttered.

"But of course!" Ino replied getting up. "The more the better, right Hinata, Sakura?"

I could only nod.

* * *

_I have never been the kind of person to pay attention to details, but I have always figured out when a person had feelings for another. That day, I didn't turn my head to look at Hinata's expression. Maybe if I would have, things would have been different._

* * *

"This is—" Ino started pointing towards me.

"Oh, I know you all. We're in the same class after all." Naruto said smiling.

He first came to me and lend me his hand and smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Sakura."

I was certain I was blushing, but not madly as I tried to hide it. I took his hand and smiled back.

"Nice to meet you too, Naruto."

He then sat on the grass followed by Ino and Kiba. He was sitting next to me and I couldn't eat anymore.

There was an awkward silence. I and Ino are the ones to talk usually, but I didn't know what to say. I wanted Naruto to have a good impression of me and I was afraid I would say something wrong.

"Ookay, I have a question," Ino said breaking the silence. "Did anyone notice what kind of books Jiraya-sensei reads when we have home room?"

"I saw something but I wasn't sure.. Are they..?" I asked and Ino nodded.

"I knew it!" Naruto jumped too.

"W-What a-a-are you talking a-about?" Hinata asked.

"Oh, let me tell her please." Kiba begged.

"No way, I won't let you destroy her innocence!" Ino replied.

I giggled. As I opened my eyes, I saw Naruto was looking at me. I quickly looked away, unable to hide the redness in my cheeks.

* * *

Months passed. Since that day, Naruto kept hanging with us.

I successfully kept my feelings hidden, but the more weeks passed, the more those feelings grew. Ino was trying to leave us alone as much as possible and she told me I should confess. She told me when it would be the perfect time and how to do it.

In the time we spent together I discovered Naruto was a kind, fun, honest and loving person. There was no way I wouldn't feel attracted to him. Thanks to Ino, we would often end up alone. I enjoyed those times the best.

Everything was perfect. I, Naruto, Ino, Kiba and Hinata had a lot of fun together and everyone in our class knew we were good friends. We would go once in a month at one of our houses and do homework together. We would play games and talk lots after we finished the homework.

It was one of those weekends and we decided to meet at my house. Hinata's mother called to tell me she caught a cold and couldn't come.

_"Poor Hinata."_ Ino said through the phone.

"I know. We should visit her tomorrow." I said. "When are you, Kiba and Naruto gonna come?"

_"We.. Uh.. You know, Kiba just called me before and said he can't come today either."_ Ino said. _"He..uh..Has an appointment at the dentist. Yeah, you know how many sweets he eats, hehe.."_

I was disappointed. "Oh.. I see.. Well, you and Naruto are going to come, right?"

_"Well, Mom asked me to help her with the flower shop today, sorry Sakura-chan."_ She replied. _"But it's ok, I bet Naruto will come anyway! I'll call him. Talk to you later!"_

"Wait!" It was too late, she hung up.

I sighed disappointed. It was obvious Naruto won't come if it was just the two of us.

Planning to spend the day studying alone, I collapsed on my bed. An hour later I heard my mother calling me.

"Sakura, there's someone at the door. Will you open?"

I stood up and walked downstairs. I expected some neighbour, maybe some relatives, but when I opened the door, I can certainly say I would have been less surprised to see Obama standing in front of me.

"Hi!"

"Naruto-kun." I said. I could only stare at him

"Ino called and said the others can't come today, so I guess it will be just the two of us today." He explained grinning.

I could only blush and nod. We headed upstairs and entered my room. It was then that I first thought that my pink walls were maybe too childish.

"Penguin!" Naruto suddenly called.

I turned my head to look on my bed where Adolf was standing. Adolf is my plush-toy and, just like Naruto pointed, it's a penguin.

"Yeah," I approached the toy and took him. "It's a gift from Dad."

"Cute." Was all he said.

We stood at a small desk, our notebooks filling the desk. I enjoyed every minute. We were chatting as we did our homework, talk about the weird teachers and our classmates. It wasn't the first time I and Naruto were alone, but it was the first time we were alone in my room.

We were struggling to make an exercise at math. unconsciously, we slowly approached each other. It was only when I could feel his breath on my face that I realized how close we were. That moment I raised my head and looked at him, he did the same. He slowly approached. The closer he came, the more I would blush. All I knew next were his lips pressed against mine.

* * *

_That was the happiest moment of my life._


	2. HATSUKOI: Heartbroken

_**RENAI 恋愛**_

**HATSUKOI:** _Heartbroken_

_15 years old_

* * *

_The first year we spent together was the most beautiful time of my life. I learned how to love and found out what it's like to be loved. __Ino and Kiba were happy for us, as well as the rest of our classmates. It was during that year that Hinata started hanging with us less and less. She would always make up excuses, but I never realized she made it on purpose._

_How blind was I? Why couldn't I see the pain in her eyes?_

_When I found out that Hinata has been in love with Naruto all along, I realized that even if I would have known the truth from the beginning, I wouldn't have given up Naruto. I really did love him._

* * *

"So, like I was saying. Did you see—Oh wait, someone's calling." I was talking on the phone with Ino when someone called. It was Naruto. "Hold on Ino-chan, Naruto's calling."

_"Oh come on, just tell him you can't talk right now. You have to tell me!"_

"Yeah, just hold still." I answered. "Hey Naruto."

_"Hi Sakura-chan! Whatcha' doing?"_

"I was talking on the phone with Ino." I replied quick.

_"Oh, what were you talking about?"_

God, he can be so dense sometimes.

"Girls things, you know."

_"Yeah.. Nothing interesting."_

"Oh, shut up. It's interesting for us." I replied giggling. He laughed too.

I remembered then that Ino was waiting.

"Uh.. Look Naruto, can we.. Talk later?" I looked at the clock, it was already half past ten. "Tomorrow?"

He fell silent for a moment and then let out a forced chuckle.

_"Yeah, sure."_

"Thanks. See you tomorrow at school then."

_"Mhm. Good night."_

I hung without replying.

"Back." I told Ino.

_"Finally. How was Naruto doing?"_

"He wanted to talk some more."

Ino let out a chuckle. "Too bad. Anyway, where were we?"

* * *

_It took me a while to realize it all started going downhill because of me. Even now I ask myself what would it have been like if I would have cherished Naruto more. Maybe we would be together even now. We would be married, have a nice house with a big garden and two kids. When I would think about future, I can easily imagine having one with Naruto. That was when I used to think I would still have a future._

* * *

Last year of middle-school is exhausting. There are exams and everyone puts pressure on you. I just wish Mom would leave me alone already.

I was on my way to school on the train. As it stopped on a station, Ino walked in and approached me. We would always meet here as she lived closer to school.

As she stepped closer, I could easily see she was holding back. She stopped in front of me smiling like an idiot.

"Ino-chan? What happened?"

"You won't believe me." She replied still smiling. She was so excited I was afraid she might take her flight. I thought about the last thing possible.

"You and Kiba are going out."

"Yes!"

"NO WAY!" I said as the other people in the train turned their heads towards us.

I covered my mouth hoping they would ignore it.

"Are you serious?" I whispered.

She nodded furiously.

I knew Ino liked Kiba for months now, but Kiba was what you would call a player. Because of the time we spent together, he came to really care about me, Hinata and Ino so I knew he would never do anything to hurt either of us. The two of them actually getting together meant he was serious.

Our stop came and we quickly got off. I hugged Ino and she hugged me, we were bouncing up and down. We did the same when I and Naruto coupled.

"I'm so happy for you!" I told her.

"I still can't believe it."

We then hurried to school as we were already running late.

The first class passed by fast. As soon as the bell rang I wanted to go to Ino and talk some more but Naruto came to me and embraced me from behind. Our classmates were already used to those things.

"Naruto, wait, I have to talk with Ino."

"Nuh-huh," He said burying his face in my back. "I didn't see you at all this weekend and we barely talked. I missed you and I want to spend time with you."

God, why does he have to do this now?

"I missed you too Naruto but I really have something to talk with Ino, it's urgent." I said trying to convince him. I was talking to him as if he was a little kid.

"It always is." He then let go of me.

I turned around and he was looking away, a sad expression on his face.

"I'll be back, ok? We can talk later." He only nodded.

I turned around and left to search for Ino without looking back. Little did I know that would be the last time Naruto would come to hug me.

* * *

The months kept passing by. My parents would always tell me to study and I started going to cram school three times a week. I would often come home exhausted on those days and when I didn't have cram school, I had to study anyway. I would often fall asleep at phone talking with Naruto and doing my homework and I would never finish them. I would spend my breaks doing homework.  
As for Naruto and I, we were talking less and less. He was doing his best studying too, so when I would have time and wanted to go on a date together, he wouldn't have time. We used to talk on the phone two nights a week for hours, but that changed too.

* * *

_We never fought. No matter how much we would be mad at each other, we never fought. We would ignore each other for a while—depending on what was the cause—and then we would act as if nothing happened. It was a big mistake. Maybe if we would have told each other the truth, it would have ended in a different way. I was still small at that time, it was my first relationship. My mother never gave me advice for relationships and I couldn't talk about this with anyone, not even Ino._

* * *

It was the last month of school, the end of a day. I was waiting for Naruto at the entrance, I wanted to go home together. I was putting my school shoes in my locker when I heard his voice.

"Just wait a little linger, ok? I will talk with her tomorrow, I promise." It was Naruto, his voice sounded unexpectedly soft.

I walked past the lockers and saw Naruto and Hinata talking down the hallway. It was already late as Naruto had club activities. I was surprised to see Hinata still here.

"Hey Hinata-chan," I said as I approached smiling.

I walled until I reached Naruto's side. I was facing Hinata. It was then that I observed their expression. Hinata was surprised and Naruto.. He had an expression I've never seen before. I couldn't guess what he was thinking. Neither of them were looking at me and neither said anything.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked trying to light the atmosphere, maybe they had a fight or something, though it didn't sound like it.

"Naruto?" I asked clinging onto his arm.

For the first time, he pulled away. I was so surprised I couldn't say anything. I tried to remember if I did something bad but nothing came in my mind.

"I.. I have to tell you something." He said looking away. Hinata was only looking. It felt weird having her there in such a moment, but I couldn't tell her to leave.

"I.." He was stuttering.

"What is it, Naruto?" I asked. I was totally confused.

It was then that Hinata approached Naruto and grabbed his hand. Their fingers linked.

I stared at their hands, my mouth was open. It was then that Naruto raised his head and looked me in the eye. I was about to cry just by looking at his face, but I still had no idea what was going on. There was no way I would have expected what I was about to hear.

"N-Naruto.. What's this?"

"I love Hinata, Sakura." He said confident and straight-forward.

It must have been my imagination playing tricks on me. I must have heard wrong. It was supposed to be 'I love Sakura, Hinata' but I was sure I heard 'I love Hinata, Sakura'.

"I-I..I don't understand.." I stuttered, looking at their faces. They were looking at me with those faces. I could easily recognise what Hinata was feeling then—pity.

"I love Hinata and she loves me, Sakura. I realized only recently."

"You mean.. You cheated on me?" I asked cutting him off. I still couldn't believe anything, it seemed like a dream.  
My heart was aching and my legs were shaking.

"No, of course not! J-Just that.. We haven't been the same lately Sakura, we don't see each other nor talk anymore. H-Hinata has been there for me all along a-and.."

I couldn't say anything. I finally understood what was going on. Naruto didn't love me anymore. He loved Hinata. Hinata loved him. They are going to have a nice and happy life. I am going to die alone.

I could feel tears forming at the corner of my eyes. I won't cry. Not in front of her. I turned around. I tried to smile, which only made me want to cry even more.

I wanted to say so many things. I wanted to jump on him, kiss him, cry so much that he'd start crying too. I wanted to slap Hinata so hard and beat her up. I wanted to call her a bitch. I wanted to tell him not to leave me.  
Instead, I only said two words.

"I see."

I walked slowly until I exited the school grounds so that they won't see me. Then I started running as fast as I could. I didn't know where to go. I only ran. I ended up on a bridge that was leading to my house. There was nobody around, but even if there were, I wouldn't care. I dropped on the grass next to a small river and started crying out loud. I screamed and screamed for what seemed like hours.

At first I wanted to jump in the water and kill myself. Then, I wanted to go back and beg him to forgive him, but of course I would never actually do it.

I got up from the grass and went in town. I won't go home, I can't go in that small room and act as if nothing happened in front of my parents. I walked and walked in town, people passing by me and I passing by buildings.  
I felt empty. I felt like everything I had left me. I unconsciously answered on one of Ino's calls. It was only when she yelled in my ear that I realized I was sitting in the middle of the street.

_"Sakura! Do you hear me? Sakura!"_

"Yeah." I replied half-heartedly.

I walked away from the street and put my back against a wall.

_"Thank God! Sakura, where are you? Your parents called me and asked about you. I told them you're here and they.."_ I wasn't paying attention anymore. _"Sakura!"_

"Yeah?"

_"For the name of God, where are you? What happened?"_

"Naruto dumped me." Was all I said.

She fell silent and then replied._ "Where are you?"_

"I don't know."

_"Come to my house."_

* * *

I went to Ino's house. She didn't ask anything, just hugged me and led me to her room. I cried all night. She then listened to me, she wasn't surprised to hear.

She told me she saw Naruto and Hinata hanging out more but she never expected them to actually do that. She called Hinata a bitch, slut, whore and so on. I agreed with her but it didn't make me feel better but only worse because I knew it wasn't the truth. Not because I know her, but because I know Naruto. If she were a bitch, Naruto wouldn't love her.

I didn't go to school the next day but spent the day at Ino's house. She came home with Kiba and a lot of sweets. They tried to make me feel better and it worked pretty well. When I asked about Naruto and Hinata, they said that if they're a couple, they hide it very well.

The next weeks I ignored the two of them at school. I would study and study and never look at them. Neither of them tried talking with me.

* * *

_Time passed and the graduation ceremony came. I passed the entrance exam to Higurashi High School and never met Naruto again. I heard he and Hinata went both to Beni High. Kiba went to Southern High and Ino went to Higurashi High, just like me. Kiba and Ino broke up two months later._

_Our friendship ended just like that. It was only Ino and I that remained._

_So it ended my first love. Sadly, only as time passed did I realize that I would never forget him._


	3. HIREN: Recovery

**A/N: **Hiren=Sad love

* * *

_**RENAI 恋愛**_

**HIREN: **_Recovery_

_16 years old_

_._

_"The second time you'll fall in love will not be the first time. The second time is more real. The second time can involve some amazing love." _

* * *

It hasn't been that long since my first love ended. It was already the fourth month of my first year of high school. After I graduated from middle-school I cut my hair, it reached just above my shoulders now.

I and Ino ended up in different classes, but we would spend at least a break together every day. There was also the road we took to school together, though it wasn't that long as we would meet in the train few stations before we would get to high school.

I already made new friends, two girls from my class—Tenten and Temari. I liked them because neither of them would talk about love all day long, unlike the other girls. Ino was among that type of girls. She was still Kiba's girlfriend, but they would always fight and then get back together.

"You know, I've wanted to ask you this for a while," Ino suddenly said as she took a sip from her strawberry juice.

We were on the roof eating lunch, there were couples here and there and groups of four or five people.

"Hm? Meaning to ask what?" I asked.

I decided to eat nothing. Recently I gained a few pounds, being fat is the last thing I need. I decided to control myself and eat less.

"Are you over him?"

I was surprised by her question. I knew whom she was talking about, but I didn't expect her to bring him up. She was looking at me with worry.

During the first weeks, I cried and cried. Ino was always there for me. She wasn't good at giving advises, but it was fine. She was there by my side, that was enough. There was only one advice she gave me.

_Forget him. _

After that, Ino never asked me about him. Even when we were still in middle-school and I would see him everyday, Ino never talked about him.

I couldn't give her a reply for a few moments. I didn't know if I still had feelings for him, I suppose if I would see him I could realize, but I was fine. I didn't feel like wanting him to be by my side.

"I suppose." I replied.

Ino then smiled. "Did you set your eyes on a new target yet?" She asked eyeing me curiously.

"No, thank you. I've had enough of love." I replied looking up at the sky.

It was a clear, cloudless sky. Looking at the infinity of it, I felt like everything will be fine. Life can be beautiful even without love.

Ino only smiled at me, but there was something different about it.

* * *

_I think that if at that time I wouldn't have been so ignorant and self-centred, I would still have Ino by my side now. If only I would have asked her if she's ok, everything would have been different. _

* * *

There was a guy in my class, Sabaku Gaara. I often see him in the breaks between classes. I look at him and he looks at me, but neither of us say anything.

It was during one of Kakashi-sensei's boring periods that I caught Gaara looking at me. His seat was on the row on my left side, a seat in front of me. I looked back at him, it was already an everyday thing to make eye-contact with him. But that was all.

It was a small, white note thrown on my desk that made me look away and break the eye-contact.

_**You got a thing for him? -Temari **_

I looked at her for her seat was on my right. I gave her a puzzled look as I didn't know whom she was talking about. She tilted her head and indicated to him—Gaara.

_We never talked. -Sakura _

_**That can be solved. -Temari **_

It was then that the bell rang. I approached Temari.

"It's fine, I don't want to talk with him." I told her.

She looked at me surprised. "The way you look at him doesn't show that." She smirked and got up from her seat.

I look at Gaara again. The people from our class whom he talks to were at his desk, as always. He was really popular.

"Changed your mind?" Temari asks, making me turn my head back to her.

"No, it's fine like this." I say and smile. "Thanks anyway."

Most of time, I would go home alone but there were those days when I would go home with Kiba and Ino, or just Ino.

That day, I didn't go alone nor with either of Kiba or Ino home.

I knew that Temari would always be picked up from school by someone who I assumed was her father, so I didn't know which road she took home. That day Temari said she'll go home with me since we go in the same direction. I didn't ask anything else, but nodded happily that I didn't have to go alone. It was an hour-long road and I forgot my headphones too.

"Wait, we have to wait for someone." She told me as soon as we arrived at the school gates.

"Ok." I said without suspecting anything.

I was looking at the people coming out of the school. I knew many of them so they would tell me goodbye as they passed by me.

I was busy telling some senpai goodbye and didn't see that Temari started talking with someone.

"Sakura, we can go now." I heard Temari say as I was still waving. "By the way, you didn't talk with each other before, right?" In that moment I turned my head around to see whom she was talking about and I met those familiar eyes. "Gaara, she's my friend Sakura. Sakura, he's Gaara, my brother."

I was paralyzed. I was sure the blood came up my cheeks in that moment. Why didn't Temari tell me this before? Leaving that aside, why didn't I realize? For God's sake, we're in the same class.

It was then that I realized. When the teachers check the presence, they would always say 'Sabaku Gaara, Temari, Suzawa Kato..'

I never remember to know Temari's first name. She did tell me her name on the first day, but she insisted on dropping formalities so I started calling her by her second name, ignoring her first.

"Why do you look so surprised, Sakura?" Temari asked.

"N-No, it's nothing."

"Nice to meet you." I heard Gaara say. He was smiling a little.

I looked at him, it was the first time I started at those eyes so close. He was a head taller than me.

I took his hand and he held mine tightly. He had such a strong grip. "Nice to meet you too." I replied.

"Let's go then." Temari said happily.

Temari was the cool and composed type, I never thought I would see the day she would be so excited.

I shot her a glare and she clasped her hands. I knew she would explain things to me later so I dropped it for the moment.

"Hey Sakura, didn't you say you would like to learn how to play an instrument?" Temari asked me as we arrived on station, waiting for the train. We were next to a snack machine.

I nodded.

"What kind of instrument?" Gaara asked.

"I never thought about it seriously since there's no one that could teach me. Maybe guitar, bass.."

"What about drums?" He asked a little enthusiastic.

I giggled. "I'd never dream that big."

He then started searching for something in his school-bag. Few seconds later, he took out something and showed them to me.

"Drums sticks." I said.

He nodded and smiled again, a more honest smile than the one he showed me when we shook hands.

He looked around, there were few people around. "Listen here." He said.

Gaara started to hit the snack-machine, but it didn't sound chaotic as expected. It sounded familiar, in fact.

"_Nightfall_!" I yelled recognising the song.

He stopped and smiled brightly. "Wow, cute and rock-fan."

I blushed about the compliment but decided to let it go, I didn't know how to reply to that.

"So you play the drums." I said smirking at him.

"I'm in a band, so yeah, I've played for a while."

"Really?!" I asked, my voice louder than I intended.

I was excited to hear that, I've always wondered how it would be like to be part of a band and hoped that I would meet people who like rock in high school. Unfortunately, I didn't. Nobody liked rock enough to give a try and start a band with me, that was what I concluded after talking with more people. I dropped the idea.

Until now.

He chuckled. "I can teach you some things, if you want."

I was about to let out a loud 'YES' when Temari called us and saved me from the horrible fate of looking like a fan-girl.

"Sorry to interrupt but the train's here guys."

_'The door will be closing' _

We heard. We were few meters away from the train, we'll definitely miss it.

"Come on." Gaara said and took my hand.

He ran with me and the doors closed just behind us, barely missing my school-bag. We ran so fast that I bumped into Gaara's chest. I looked up, his faces inches away from mine and his hands on my shoulders, we were surprised.

"You ok?" He asked with a smile.

I nodded and released from his grip fast, the desire to stay there forever suddenly growing inside me.

Temari gave me a thumb up as she sat down. After so many months, my heart started pounding in my chest again, harder than anytime before.

* * *

I was walking with Ino on the hallways towards our classes that were next to each other when I saw Gaara. He was in the class surrounded by people as always.

He saw me too and waved to me. I raised my hand to wave back when Ino startled me.

"Oh my God!" She yelled making me jump in surprise.

As I turned around to look at her I saw she had her mouth covered with her hand.

"What?" I asked.

She took me by the wrist and we walked a bit further, I couldn't see Gaara anymore.

"Gaara just waved to you? _Sabaku Gaara?" _She asked.

"Yeah, but what's the big deal?" I couldn't understand her reaction.

She sighed. "First of all tell me how come you know him."

"We're classmates you know." I said. "But I only met him recently. You know my friend Temari, he's her brother and we went home together two days ago. That's it."

"Oh." She said. "Well, allow me to brighten you. Sabaku Gaara is the coolest guy to ever walk in this high school. I mean, look at him, I bet you already realized it. He's really popular and I heard a rumor that he's part of a band."

"He is, he told me when we talked." I told her. I didn't know Gaara was _that _popular.

The bell rang.

"Ugh, I gotta go, I have physics with Anko." Ino frowned. "Let's go home together after school."

I nodded and headed to my classroom.

Just as I was about to sit down, Gaara came to my desk.

"Hey." He said with a smirk.

"Hey to you too." I replied with the same smirk.

He smiled. "Are you free Saturday?"

"Yeah, I think so. Why?"

I could see Temari giving me tons of thumb ups behind him. She was seriously bothering me. What was even more embarrassing was that Tenten also found out about the whole thing and she joined Temari in their attempt to humiliate me.

"Our band is practising every Saturday from 3 to 7 pm. Want to come?" He asked. "I mean, to teach you.. You know." He looked away for some reason.

I blinked in surprise. I didn't expect him to start teaching me so fast.

"Sure." I replied with a smile.

"Cool." He said. "Can we exchange numbers? Maybe you'll need it."

I nodded and searched for my phone, it made me able to look away and hide my blushing face.

We exchanged numbers and then he went to his seat.

I sat down and remembered Temari owed me an explication.

"Temari, you forgot to tell me something." I told her, though I wasn't as mad as that day. I was probably like that because I was very surprised.

"What? Oh, that." She remembered. "Sorry for doing that so suddenly, but it you get along really well so everything's fine, right?" She asked smiling.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right.."

"By the way, I didn't mean to surprise you like that but he asked me to do that."

I couldn't help but widen my eyes, my mouth opening as large as it could.

"What?" I whispered, nobody had to hear us.

Temari smiled. "_He_ wanted to meet _you_, Sakura."


	4. HIREN: Forgetting

_**RENAI **__**恋愛**_

**HIREN**: _Forgetting_

_16 years old_

* * *

It's been a month since I started spending my Saturdays with Gaara, learning to play the drums. He told me several times that I was really good and had talent.

"If you'll keep getting better this way, you may surpass me in a year. Maybe two." Gaara said.

"A year? Give me six months and I'll be the best drummer in Tokyo." I said proudly.

He put a hand on my head and ruffled my hair. "Easy, tiger." He said giving me a smile.

We were in the practising room with the other band members, drinking soda and eating snacks. They were all boys. The drummer was Gaara, the vocalist was a boy in our school, but another class named Shikamaru. The guitar and guitar-bass were played by Sasori, Gaara's older cousin, and Deidara, a friend of Sasori. They have had the band for two years now and they are really good. They plan on making their debut next year.

"It's getting late." Gaara said, making me look outside and see the sun setting.

"Damn.." I whisper.

I wanted to stay more, but my mother agreed to this only if I would be home by the time the sun's setting.

"Guess I have to go." I said as I got up.

"I think we'll leave too, we've done enough practice for today." Sasori said.

Everyone took their bags and we left, locking the door. The five of us walked towards the train station. We didn't always leave together, for they would stay and practice more, but Gaara would always send me home.

It was only the second time I would go home with everyone. I and Shikamaru take the same train while Gaara, Sasori and Deidara would take the other one.

"Something came up, I can't send you home today." He told me.

"It's fine." I reply.

The sun was already set by the time we arrived at the train station.

"Are you sure?" Gaara asked. He was worried and I couldn't help but feel happy.

I nod. "Of course!" I replied cheerfully.

He nodded. "See you Monday then."

"See you." I said as he turned around and left with Sasori and Deidara that waved goodbye to me.

When I looked beside me, Shikamaru was nowhere to be seen.

"Want something to drink?" I heard him asking.

I looked at the vending machine and saw Shikamaru looking at me.

I nod. "A cola would be great."

I took out the money from my pocket, but he refused.

"Here." He threw the dose at me.

"Thanks."

"Sakura?" It wasn't Shikamaru who called me, but another familiar voice.

I turned around and saw Ino. She was looking terrified-beautiful and terrified. It was then that I saw Ino's red cheek.

"Ino, what happened?!" I asked as I approached.

She faked a smile. "Oh, don't worry, I just tripped."

I didn't ask any further for Shikamaru approached us.

"The train's here, Sakura." He said.

I nodded and turned around when I heard Ino's voice.

"Hey, my name's Ino. I'm Sakura's friend, nice to meet you!"

"I'm Shikamaru." He replied.

* * *

"Spit it all." Ino said as soon as we arrived in my room.

Ino asked if she could sleep at my place since she had to tell me something important.

"You first, who do you think would believe that thing about tripping?"

She sighed. "It's a long story, I'll tell you after. Though I'm not sure you would like to hear it.."

I decided to tell Ino how I met Shikamaru fast to that she could tell me everything.

"You know that I get along well with Gaara. He's the drummer in a band and he accepted to teach me how to play them."

"What a good technique, I never thought about it!" Ino said enthusiastic.

"What are you talking about?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Your technique of getting him. You'll spend a lot of time together learning how to play the drums .. _Other things._" She smirked.

I blushed. "That wasn't my purpose! Anyway, we meet every Saturday and I practice with the rest of the band. Shikamaru's the vocalist. We go in the same direction home and _voilà_. That's all, your turn."

"Wait, wait, hold the phone. You meet _every_ Saturday?" I nod. "God, you have to take me there too!"

I raise an eyebrow. "Ino, Shikamaru may be attractive and all but _Kiba_ is your boyfriend."

Ino then looked away mad.

"Ino?" I asked worried.

"I and Kiba-kun were on a date today in mall. I observed that for a while now he acted weird. Like, he wouldn't pick up when I called, doesn't have time for me.. I felt that he was hiding something from me. I went to buy some drinks and he waited for me at a table. While I was waiting at the line, I met with Naruto."

Ino was looking at me carefully, she probably wanted to see my reaction. I told her I was over him after all. I didn't even blink.

"We talked a bit. Hinata is still his girlfriend."

I wasn't surprised to hear that. I knew they were still together, I knew but yet, it was a shock.

"Did you meet her too?" I asked.

She nodded and her expression changed, she seemed angry.

"I headed to the table Kiba kept for us, but he wasn't there. Naruto came with me, he wanted to see how Kiba was doing. When we saw he wasn't there Naruto wanted to go to Hinata and their table. I saw Hinata and Kiba there. He was kissing her."

I couldn't believe, I couldn't say anything. Ino was digging her nails in her fists not to cry. I took her hand and released her fist.

She held my hand and continued. "We both approached and Naruto immediately hit Kiba. I hate to admit it, but it was obvious Hinata tried to break free and Kiba was the one forcing the kiss. I couldn't say anything as Naruto begun to hit Kiba. Hinata stopped them and held Naruto. I approached Kiba and started yelling at him. I asked why he did that, I called him a bastard, a man-whore, a cheater, everyone was looking. Then he hit me."

I put my hand on the red spot on Ino's cheek, she didn't deserve any of this.

She looked at me and smiled.

"Naruto then hit him again so hard that he fell on the floor." Ino chuckled. "Who would have thought Naruto would be the one to protect my dignity?"

I put my arms around Ino's head and pulled her into my chest. I hugged her close and begun to cry.

"You've been through a lot today.. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you."

"I'm really proud of me Sakura," She said slowly as tears begun streaming down her face. "I didn't cry in front of him, I'm proud of me."

I nodded and smiled through tears.

She then hugged me tight and begun crying out loud. I let her cry her heart out, though it hurt me too.

An hour later we were both in my bed ready to sleep.

"Hey Sakura, Naruto really is a great guy. Back then I couldn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you, but I think he really loves Hinata. He wouldn't have done that if he didn't love her."

Ino's words hurt. They hurt a lot because she was right. I could only get over that relationship because I blamed Naruto. It's easier if you put the blame on someone else.

That night I cried silently for hours until I was exhausted and fell asleep.

* * *

Ino wanted to came and practice with us but she wasn't good at any instrument. She didn't talk with Kiba anymore and decided that the best way to get over a broken heart is to find a new love. I decided to help her and She, I, Gaara and Shikamaru would often hang out in weekends. We would spend most of the brakes at school together too, we even skipped classes together.

Not much later Ino confessed to Shikamaru and they started going out. One day Kiba suddenly started waiting for Ino to finish her classes. Shikamaru would always send Ino home on those days.

It was the spring of our second year of high school when Gaara's band decided to have their first concert. But there was a problem.

"We need a female vocalist." Shikamaru said.

"What? But you're great even without. Why do you need one?" I asked.

"The manager of the band we're singing before said that if we don't have one, we can't play." Shikamaru continued crawling his hands in his pockets.

"We can have Sakura sing." Gaara said smiling at me.

"W-What? But I can't sing!"

"Have you ever tried?" Shikamaru asked.

"Not really.."

Deidara threw me a microphone. "Give it a try doll." He smiled at me along with Sasori.

Everyone was supporting me and they needed my help. I took a deep breath and start to sing the first song that came in my mind.

_"Lonely girl you lost the only thing you loved,_

_Nothing that you had, was ever good enough,_

_And I won't be the one to keep you safe.." _

I was afraid to sing any further, there was no sound. When I opened my eyes and looked at the boys, they were all surprised.

"It was bad, I know, I shouldn't have done this. I'm sorry, I'm not made for sing—"

"Sakura, easy." Gaara said putting his hands on my shoulders. "You were great, how come you've never sang before?"

I looked at the others. "Why did you hide this amazing voice from us?!" Deidara asked.

I blushed. "Was it really ok?"

"You're good, really good." Shikamaru said smirking.

I smiled too.

And so we started practising for the concert. We were gonna sing before a famous Japanese band. If everything will go alright, the band will be really popular.

We practised a lot for a month. The closer the concert was, the more pressure would be on our shoulders. I worked hard to improve my voice. I never knew singing could be so much fun.

And so the day of the concert came.

"Are you nervous?" Gaara asked.

I was looking at the people waiting, there were more than 5000 persons.

"A little." I confessed.

"Don't worry, I'll be right here!" Ino hugged me.

She was a special guest and was going to watch from the backstage.

"And we will be there with you. You're not alone." Gaara continued.

I smiled and nodded and then we ran headed to the stage.


	5. HIREN: Destroying

_**RENAI **__**恋愛**_

**HIREN**: _Destroying_

_17 years old_

_._

_Our first concert was a success. Everyone in the band was very happy. At that time Gaara hugged me for the first time and we kissed, thus becoming a couple._

* * *

"I'm going on a date with Shikamaru, I'm going on a date with Shikamaru, who's cool? I'm cool!" Ino kept singing as were heading home.

It's been almost a year since I and Gaara started dating. We had a few more concerts after that one and we kept hoping someone would come, scout us and make us famous. Nothing for now, but there's still time.

I love him. We have our little fights since we're both stubborn, but we always make up fast. The time I spend with him is the most beautiful time of my life.

"Finally. Honestly, I admire you for not giving up even after all those times he refused you and—"

"Yes Sakura, I remember, no need to bring it up again." She said and we both laughed.

Ino had a hard time getting over Kiba, but she's fine now. She really likes Shikamaru and is determined to make him like her too.

"I'm glad you're so happy." I say out of nowhere, which surprises Ino.

We aren't the kind of cheesy, romantic best friends, which is something I am deeply grateful for. I could never be like that. We aren't like that and we rarely tell each other sweet things like that, but I just wanted to say it.

Ino smiled. "Same goes for you. You know, after you and Naruto broke up I was really worried about you, you were very distant. But you went back to your usual self since you met Gaara. You're even better, it's like, I don't know, just being around you makes everyone happy. You spread happiness."

"Maybe because I'm so happy that I can't keep it all inside." I reply smiling.

* * *

After their date Shikamaru and Ino started going out. I was even happier. Ino was smiling a lot more and I was too. Ino would still come to see us practice. She would always bring us food and drinks, she was like our mother.

In the weekends we didn't practice, I, Gaara, Ino and Shikamaru would hang out as a group. At first we would go to places like the amusement park, mall, cinema, aquarium, café, McDonald's or KFC. When we got bored with those, we even started visiting places like museums, theatres and operas.

We were in our third year of high school when we decided to go in a over-night trip for the first time. It was a two nights, three days trip to Hokkaido. My parents didn't want to let me go, but Gaara came and spoke with them and they soon agreed. My parents loved Gaara.

"This place is amazing!" Ino said as we arrived at the hotel we would be staying.

"Here, the key to your room." Gaara threw Shikamaru a key.

"Let's change and then we can go eat something? I'm starving." Ino asked.

"Yeah, me too." I replied.

As soon as I entered in the room, I threw my bag on the floor and collapsed on the bed.

"Make some space." I heard Gaara say.

"No way, there isn't enough spa—" But he jumped on me already. "Ow!"

He raised his head and looked at me with that gorgeous smile. He kissed me and I was easily corrupted. He put a hand under my head and held my hand with the other. We were so close, I loved those moments.

"We have to go," I said as he released my lips. "Ino and Shikamaru will come soon."

"Well they'll leave when they'll see we're busy." He replied as he begun kissing my neck.

I smiled and he kissed me again. I didn't want to oppose anymore, I wanted to stay like this the whole day. Ino and Shikamaru can go out without us.

That was when my stomach growled.

Gaara looked at me surprised as I blushed, embarrassed. He then begun laughing.

"D-Don't laugh!" I said as he got off me and lay on the bed, laughing even harder. I could only blush harder.

"God Sakura, you're so—"

"Hungry!" I completed for him as I turned around.

He put his hand on my shoulder and pulled me, making me lay on the bed next to him. He was facing me, smiling.

"—Lovely." He completed his previous sentence.

Then we heard a knock on the door.

"We're ready." Shikamaru said without entering.

"Coming." I replied as we both got up.

He gave me a peck on the cheek before we left.

* * *

We ate at a restaurant and then decided to walk around. The sun was setting already.

"Ino, I forgot to tell you something." Gaara said as we were walking in a park.

I and Gaara were walking hand in hand in front and Ino and Shikamaru a few steps behind us. Having something to tell Ino, I let go of Gaara's hand. Ino came by Gaara's side while Shikamaru came next to me.

"My uncle is the director of a magazine, I forgot its name. He saw you at our last concert in the backstage and asked me to give you his number."

Ino took a small piece of paper from his hand and looked at it weirdly. "I don't get it, what should I do with his number?" Ino asked.

"He put his eye on you Ino, maybe he wants you to model for his magazine or something. The old man is really picky choosing his models so I'm not sure that's the case but—"

"Oh my God!" Ino yelled so loud that everyone stared in our direction.

She stopped walking and the boys did too, but I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking so I tripped.

I was sure I'd fall and probably make a fool of myself, but I waited and didn't feel any pain. When I opened my eyes I saw Shikamaru. He had his arm around my shoulders, hugging me tightly, his face inches apart. He looked surprised, even more than me.

"U-Uhm.. Thank you." I said insecure.

"Aa." He replied.

He released me gently and walked towards Ino.

"Let's head back, it's getting dark." He told Ino.

Something was different about him. He was looking at Ino, but it was more like he was looking through her.

I looked at Gaara and he was looking at Shikamaru. I saw he wanted to open his mouth and say something, so I took his hand and smiled at him.

"Let's go, I'm pretty tired." I told him.

I knew that the fact Shikamaru didn't let me fall meant nothing, but Gaara was the possessive type. He may not see the incident like this and get angry.

He only held my hand tighter and we headed back to the hotel.

* * *

It was around midnight when I woke up. Gaara was sleeping soundly next to me. It was very hot and I couldn't sleep. I woke up deciding to go on the balcony and get a breath of air. The door that led to the balcony was made of glass, so I could see someone standing there.

We shared a balcony with the persons in the room next to us, which were Shikamaru and Ino. I could easily identify Shikamaru's silhouette there. He was looking at the sky, smoking a cigarette.

I opened the door and he looked at me, but wasn't surprised.

"I didn't know you smoke." I said as I looked at the horizon.

We were at the seventh floor. There weren't many lights here, you could easily see the stars. The sky was beautiful.

He didn't reply. Instead, he took off his jacket and handed it to me.

"Put this on, you'll catch a cold." His voice was different

He would always speak with me and the others with his lazy, playful voice, but it was different now. It sounded gentle.

I thought that if Gaara would wake up and see that, he might be worried. I didn't want to worry him.

"It's ok, I'm not cold." I replied.

Instead of giving up, he threw his cigarette and came behind me, putting his jacket on me. He rested his hands on my shoulders longer than needed.

"Shikamaru?" I asked, seeing he didn't move.

Taking me by surprise, he wrapped his arms around me from behind and put his head on my shoulder.

"I can't do it anymore, Sakura." He whispered.

In that moment, I got worried. Something happened to Shikamaru. Maybe something with his family or at school. He is my friend that helped me so many times, how come I didn't notice?

I turned around, making him let go of me.

"What happened?" I asked worried.

"I love you."

* * *

_I will never forget the face Shikamaru had when he told me those words. There was no way I could have understood back then, I didn't know a thing about life, but as time passed, I understood. _

_Pain, sorrow, longing but most of all, love. _

_How much I regret the way I hurt him back then._

* * *

I was dumbfounded. I couldn't say anything, I couldn't even realize what Shikamaru was telling me. I could only think about Ino, about what she would think or say if she was here. I looked at the door that led to their room and could see her sleeping face.

"I.. But Ino.."

In the next second, Shikamaru kissed me. It was a gentle kiss that expressed his feelings.

I pushed him away and then Gaara appeared. He launched towards Shikamaru and punched him in the face.

"What are you doing _fucker?_!" He yelled.

Shikamaru was on the floor, his cheek red. He didn't reply, he couldn't even look at me nor at Gaara. He stood up and left the balcony and his apartment.

I could only lie on the floor, helpless and shaking, staring at Gaara. He turned around and hugged me, I couldn't move.

I and Gaara left the next day, telling Ino—who knew nothing—something came up and we have to leave. They came back two days later too.

* * *

_That was the day everything was destroyed. _

_Even now I wonder how stupid I've been to forget Ino was a light sleeper and she was sleeping with her face at us, but when Shikamaru left the balcony and apartment, she was turned around. _


	6. HIREN: Ending

**A/N: **Thank you for the reviews everyone! You support means a lot. Please tell me how this chapter is, I planned it long ago but it didn't turn out as I expected..

_**RENAI **__**恋愛**_

**HIREN: **_Ending_

_17 years old_

_._

It's been a week since Ino and Shikamaru came back. She was the same as usual and I couldn't be more grateful. It seemed like Shikamaru didn't tell her anything. I didn't plan on telling her either, because she'd be hurt.

Ino kept asking all of us to hang out together as usual, but we would always find an excuse not to.

I didn't speak with Shikamaru since then, neither did I see him.

Gaara was more protective of me, but something changed about him. Every time he would look at me, he would seem worried. It was like he was doubting me.

We were under the stairs where no one could see us. Students were passing by, but nobody paid attention. We were kissing, our arms wrapped around each other.

He looked at me with those eyes again.

"I love you, Gaara."

I don't always tell him that, because I prefer showing it, but I felt I needed to tell now.

"I know." He replied. "I love you too but.."

I knew it. I knew he was worried that I might feel something towards Shikamaru. Even though he never asked me anything because he didn't want to hurt me, he was worried.

I put my hands on his cheeks and looked in his eyes serious.

"No buts. I _love _you. What I feel for you is beyond love, I can't even tell you how much you mean to me. My heart is filled with you, do you think there's space for anyone else?" I asked. I was embarrassed, but it felt food telling him my feelings.

He was surprised by my confession too, but then he smiled brightly and put his hand on my head. He stroke my hair.

"Jeez, you can be so straightforward."

His smile was doubtless. My feelings reached him.

I jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly as I smiled. I fall in love with him harder and harder.

* * *

"Sakura, can you come at my place before you go home? Mom made some cake and she wants to see you. She kinda misses her second daughter." Ino asked as we entered the train that led us home.

Ino's mother is a nice person, she would always treat me nicely every time I would come at Ino. She was right, I haven't visited her for a while.

I nodded. "Sure, though I can't stay long. We have a load of homework." I sighed.

We kept talking and soon arrived at Ino. As we entered inside, I observed that Ino's mother's car wasn't there.

When we entered, I saw two pairs of boys shoes.

"Ino?" I asked as I took off my shoes.

She didn't even turn around, she kept walking forward to her living room. I followed her and was surprised by what I saw.

Gaara was holding Shikamaru by his shirt, their faces close. Gaara was angry while Shikamaru indifferent. Or so he seemed.

When I and Ino appeared, they turned their glances towards us. That was when Shikamaru's expression changed. He was surprised and.. Worried? No, it was something else. Guilt? Or maybe pain?

"Sakura, what are you doing here?" Gaara asked. "Ino, what's going on?"

"I won't be part of this, I'm leaving." Shikamaru said as he turned around, but he couldn't get past Ino.

"Ino, what's going on?" I asked too, I couldn't understand.

Ino raised her head and looked at Shikamaru. She had an expression I've never seen before. The usually cheerful, happy girl looked now all dark.

"Don't you even dare giving me that crap after what you did, you _asshole._"

Ino knows. She knows that Shikamaru has feelings for me. She knows we hid it from her. She saw everything. She heard everything.

I couldn't say a word, I was startled.

"How do you know?" Shikamaru asked.

Ino smiled a bitterly. "That's what matters? I saw everything, it's not that one of you told me."

"Ino, I'm sorry." I said. "I.. We only wanted to protect you."

"_Protect_?!" She snapped at me. "By lying to me? Don't use that to excuse yourself!"

"Ino, we thought that it was a problem between you and him. We shouldn't meddle." Gaara said.

He lied for me. I was the one who was supposed to tell her because I am her best friend. What kind of friend I am?

I could feel tears making their way in my eyes.

Ino laughed. "Now Shikamaru-kun, won't you comfort her? _She'_s the girl you love after all." Shikamaru didn't say anything. "Now, now, don't be speechless. What stops you? Oh, that's right.. I do. I am your girlfriend after all, kinda troublesome. Why don't you just break up with me? It would be so easy."

Everything she said hurt me. I knew Ino wasn't the kind of person to actually mean what she said, but we hurt her so badly that she came to say all of those.

"You could cheat on me too, that would be even easier. Oh wait, you already did that because you _never _cared for me in the first place!" She yelled.

That was when Shikamaru slapped her. It wasn't hard enough to redden her cheek, but to make her stop.

Ino started crying. She has always hated crying in public, I was the only person that has ever seen her crying. She has never been a weak, little girl and she wasn't acting like one now either.

"If I would have never cared about you, I wouldn't have made you my girlfriend." Shikamaru said.

Ino begun hitting him in the stomach, but she was just a girl and her punches didn't affect him. Or maybe he didn't show it.

"What did I do to deserve this?" She asked. She slowly stopped hitting him and her knees let her, she was falling down. "You betrayed me. How could you hide this from me?" She looked at me with tears in her eyes.

I knelt next to her, crying.

"I didn't want you to get hurt, Ino.."

She stood up, looking down at me with the most disgusted expression I have ever seen. I felt like the lowest of the creatures.

Gaara and Shikamaru stood by me.

"I'm not a little girl, I don't need anyone's protection. After all those years, I thought that you would at least know I would always choose dealing with the harsh reality rather than living in a lie." That was the first time I heard Ino talking like that. "Protecting me.. That's just some bullshit excuse you made up to cover the real reason, that you're a coward."

"That's enough Ino." Gaara said, but she ignored him.

"You were afraid I will blame you, weren't you?" Her words struck me like a thunder, because they were true. She wiped her tears away alone. "You took everything from me again."

"Ino.." I was still crying. "I—"

In the next moment, Ino closed her eyes and collapsed. Shikamaru caught her.

"I'll take her to her bed." He said.

Gaara helped me up.

"Let's leave." He said as he supported me with his arm, ignoring Shikamaru.

That was the last time I stepped in Ino's house.

* * *

_That day I lost Ino's friendship. She didn't even look at me for the rest of our senior year. _

_Her words were part of the reason I changed. I learned that people will never stay. _

_What matters in life is who will be there at the end of the day, but by then, everyone leaves. _

* * *

It was Saturday and we didn't go to practice. Gaara fought with Deidara and Sasori. He said that if Shikamaru doesn't drop out of the band, he won't come anymore. I heard Shikamaru dropped, but they couldn't find someone better and Sasori was mad at Gaara for splitting the band for a childish reason. Thus our band was destroyed too.

During that time my mother found out that my father had an affair and they divorced. My father left the house and I was alone with my mother, but she would never talk with me. She loaded herself with work and gave me all the money I needed so I wouldn't bother her.

I felt like everything was falling to pieces. I was trying hard not to make my grades drop and concentrate for the exams. I already planned to go to a college that's at the other end of Tokyo and move alone. Gaara said he wouldn't let me leave alone because it's dangerous, so if I decided to do it, he would come too and we could live together.

During those hard times, Gaara has been my support. He would always help me, make me forget about the reality that was crumbling under me.

Ino was right, I am a coward.

It was a month before the exams that Gaara missed a school day.

"He isn't here?" I asked one of his classmates.

He didn't show at our place in the courtyard and I worried.

"No, didn't come today." The boy replied.

"Thanks, sorry for the bother." I said and left.

I tried contacting him, but he wouldn't reply any of my messages nor pick up the calls.

He didn't come the next day either and I decided to go to his house. It was his mother that showed up at the door.

"Sakura." She said sadly, making me worry. She was a kind, welcoming woman, but she was so distant now.

"Excuse me for showing up so suddenly but can I please see Gaara? I couldn't contact him for the past days and I was wondering if he's alright."

"He's not home." She replied shortly. She was lying, I could easily see, but if she was doing it she has a good reason.

I didn't push it any further. I knew Gaara had been a distant person before he met me, that's what his friends would always tell me. I thought something happened and he needed some space. Something like this happened before too and he told me not to worry if it will happen again.

"I understand. Goodbye then."

She only waved and smiled.

* * *

Gaara came back to school two days later.

I saw him walking on the hallways and ran to him, but he didn't move.

"I have something to tell you." He said coldly.

I couldn't even recognise him. He seemed so different, like another person. I nodded and followed him on the roof.

"Gaara, what happened? Why didn't you contact me the past days?" I asked worried.

"Let's break up."

I could only hear the wind blowing.

"W-What..?"

"Let's break up, Sakura. I'm tired of all of this already." The bell rang. "I'm going to the class, bye."

He walked past me, leaving me speechless.

I didn't want to let it end like that. When Naruto broke up with me, I didn't ask for a reason. I was too proud for that and threw my happiness away so easily. But I won't let it end like this now.

"Why?!" I asked turning around.

He stopped, but didn't face me.

"Something happened, right? Why won't you tell me?"

"It's none of your business."

His words hurt me like knives, but I kept fighting. He was lying, he was pretending. Something happened that made him do it.

"What happened?" I asked again. I could barely keep the tears. If I cried, it meant I accepted it would end here.

He turned around and smirked. It wasn't playful, but dark.

He came closer and grabbed my chin. He rose my head and made me look at him, into his eyes.

"You're so naïve, you really believed I actually loved you." I didn't reply, which made him laugh.

_'Stop it.' _

"I pretended all along. I only used you, I never had any feelings for you."

_'It's too much. Stop it.' _

I let the tears fall, I couldn't keep it anymore.

He let go of my chin and turned around.

"So you finally understand."

"Don't leave!" I yelled.

I decided to throw away my pride this time. If this was the price I have to pay to be with Gaara, to hell with my pride.

"I.. I love you from the bottom of my heart. Please, don't go."

He didn't say a word, he started walking to the door.

"Gaara, don't go!" I screamed from the top of my lungs. "If you ever cared about me, even for a moment, turn around and don't leave me!"

He stopped and turned around.

"Foolish girl." Was all he said.

He walked away, but said something before leaving the roof.

It was 'Forgive me', but I thought I didn't hear right.

I couldn't move. I couldn't accept the reality. I wanted to keep living in that happy world from my bubble, but I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I had to face reality, the harsh reality.

* * *

_He did turn around back then. Sadly, it took me too much before I realized it. When I realized it, he was already gone. I finished the exams and went to search for him, but he already left. I talked with Sasori and he said Gaara moved to Europe. _

_How much I regretted not fighting more back then. How much I cried. _

_I didn't have Ino anymore, I couldn't go to Shikamaru and Gaara left. I had no one. I didn't feel so lonely my entire life. _

_I swore to shut my heart forever. _


End file.
